'Patrick's was an invisible death, but that does not mean that his life was invisible, that his legacy will be invisible. This is part of his legacy'.
This is how I ended my talk to a group of midwives at Queen's University in Belfast on Wednesday. I was speaking at an Improving Bereavement Care Training Day as part of SandsNI. What an experience. There was not a dry eye in the room. No matter how many times I practiced at home, I still got upset. There are a few points in Patrick's story that even now, two years on, still reduce me to tears.
The midwives must have been moved by Patrick's story because they cried along with me. The coordinator said that he was watching the reaction of the students and that it was amazing to see everyone sharing in Patrick's story. Really, this is all that I want. I want Patrick to make an impact. I want his story to resonate with these students so that when they go out and look after other pregnant women, that they think about what I have talked about and maybe they can change some things. There have been comments which, although sad, are also very positive.
And, this is what I hope for also. I hope that Patrick's story can be used in such a way that it has a positive effect on people. So, although it was very sad and emotionally draining, it was also extremely cathartic. I think sharing knowledge and experiences is different - you can only learn so much from books.
I will be doing more speaking in the future and using Patrick's experience to do good. His legacy will be far-reaching.