It has been, April 21st has passed again. I think the lead up to it is worse than the actual day.
On Friday, the Health Visitor came for Florence's one-year review. She said that I could have postponed it, but life goes on. I expect the world to stop. I want everyone to stop what they are doing and acknowledge Patrick as the beautiful wee boy that he is. I want everyone to know how he died, that it could have been prevented, so that it will never happen again to another baby and their family. But, let's be honest, this does not happen and never will. So, the health visitor came. We talked a wee bit about what I am doing at the moment 'career' wise and things are progressing nicely (more later).
After the Health Visitor, we all went into town to buy Patrick a balloon and a birthday cake. I went to a card shop and bought a helium Thomas the Tank Engine balloon. So far so good. We then went to the supermarket to buy cake.
So, picture the scene. I am outside, shopping bought, and Florence is watching me pack it before putting it in the car. Shay is running around, but then tells me he wants to get into his seat. He has a Go Jetters magazine that he wants to look at. I say, 'ok, hop in if you want'. I am packing groceries when I hear Shay talking about a balloon. 'Thomas the Tank engine balloon, hello balloon'. It clicks - the balloon is loose in the back. I turn around and see the balloon pocking it's top out of the car. I run towards the back door shouting 'grab the balloon', and reach for it, but it slips through my fingers. A lady in the car next to me jumps for the string, but to no avail. And, so we all watch it floating into the clouds. The lady actually apologies for not catching the balloon...
It definitely was not the balloon release I had in mind. But, the balloon headed in the right place and would have reached Patrick no matter where it was released from. I would like to think it was Patrick's way of telling me that things cannot be planned, that everything always works out, and his way of having a laugh at my expense.
Patrick, we hope you liked your balloon xx