In April 2015, my life changed forever. Everything I thought I knew about life was destroyed. Such simple words, 'there is no heartbeat', placed together became the worst sentence I had ever heard. My son Patrick would never be able to live the life he should.
My life before Patrick is very different to the reality of life after Patrick. I am still trying to cope with life after Patrick. The anger, confusion, pain, and grief never goes away.
I am tired of living this in silence. In a world that forgets that my baby is missing, a world that does not want to address his absence, a world ill-equipped to deal with my loss, and a world unwilling to overcome the imposed silence, I will no longer be quiet.
I have often been told to 'move one'. But I ask, 'move on to where, to what?' I will not move on to pretending that Patrick did not exist. I will move on to this. I will speak Patrick's name loudly and publicly. This is what has happened and I will not shy away from it. Patrick is my son. I love him and miss him.